Final Fantasy Interviews!
by SaphSoul
Summary: Me interviewing FF characters. Feel free to ask your own questions and I will do my very best to ask them on an interview with the character. Please don't ask inappropriot questions such as Undergarments and such, I will not post those.
1. Chapter 1

Hello

Hello! YAY! I finally have something good to write!! I'm going to stage some interviews of some characters from the game FFVII please treat it kindly. Reviews are welcome and feel free to ask questions and I shall do my very best to post it. This is done by a suggestion by my friend Tashy-san! I'm kinda taking the idea from my best friend Nami-san!! OMIGOSH! I can't wait to start this!!

Please don't submit inappropriot questions to do with undergarments and such, I will not post them. I am sorry.

Our first guest! (opens envelope)

(squeals with excitement and jumps around, bouncing off walls like human pin ball) CLOUD STRIFE!!


	2. Cloud Strife

Saph: Hello everyone! This is the first showing of FFI (Final Fantasy Interviews!!) Anyway, our first guest is none other then the big guy, the blonde pwn-er, Tifa's lover, and, my personal favorite, CHOCABO-HEAD!! Please welcome, Mr. Cloud Strife!!

(claps and gestures to a curtain)

(curtain is pulled back revealing a tied-up Cloud Strife)

Cloud: MMMPH!! MMMMMMPH!!!

Saph: What?

Cloud: MMMMMMPPPPHHH!!!!

Saph: (shrugs) Sorry Cloud, can't hear you!

(rips tape off Cloud's mouth)

Cloud: (gasping) I…said…can't…breath…

Saph: Oh. Why are you tied up?

Cloud: (death glare)

Saph: Do you know why you're here?

Cloud: I'm here, because someone said Tifa was in trouble.

Saph: What? Who said that?

Cloud: (glares)

Saph: (calls to people backstage) HEY! Who said they were gonna endanger Spike's girlfriend? Ya all know ya can't do that to his bride unless ya wanna end up dead!

Stagehand: (yelling from backstage) YA SAID YA WANTED THE CHOCABO AND WE GOT YOU THE CHOCABO! YA STUPID EMO-KID!!

(Large object is thrown at Saph from backstage)

Saph: OUCH! (as object lands on Saph's head)

(Incoherent cursing and shouting from backstage)

Cloud: (covers ears)

Saph: (to everyone) Gomen nasai! My stagehands are real jerks. (rubs head) (to Cloud) I'm sorry Mr. Spike. Tifa's not in any danger, we just wanted to get you here so we could interview you. (bows to the blonde pwn-er)

Cloud: you…wanted to interview me?

Saph: Yes! We went to all this trouble just to get you here and we would appreciate it if you would answer a few questions.

Cloud: o…kay…

Saph: OKAY! FIRST!! This is a question that has plagued my mind FOREVER!! And I'm pretty sure everybody that knows about this has thought of this too. What are your feelings for Tifa? Get it right, NO LYING!!

Cloud: (blushes)… she…she's just a childhood friend!! N-Nothing is going on between us…s-she needs protection…(continues babbling)

Saph: (whispers) Methinks he doth protest too much…

Cloud: What?

Saph: Nothing! Aw! Come on man, tell the truth, I mean, it's not like you haven't fantasized about marrying her all your life.

Cloud: (blushes before glaring) …

Saph: Ha! You really do blush easily!!

Cloud: (gets angry) Don't make me use my sword on you!!

Saph: EEP! Security!!

(nothing happens)

Cloud: (glares)

Saph: Just kidding! I don't have security…yet…we just made the place. Besides, what would I need security for?

Cloud: (glares and fingers sword)

Saph: Oh! Right…the sword. (sweatdrops)

Cloud: (smug smile)

Saph: Ah well, anyone that knows me knows that if I were ever to die it would be by the blade. Being killed by such a famous person as THE Cloud Strife would be a wonderful way to go out. Anyway, sit down already! We have to start the questions!!!

Saph: (opens envelope) Our first question is from keychain001-san!! He/she, sorry, I can't tell, please don't be offended. Anyway, they say:

"OMG! First off, Cloud, I have to say that you are one of my favorite characters! And my question is, do you use hair gel, or does your hair get like that on it's own?"

Saph: HA! No escaping it now!! So, Mr. Chocabo-head, did a sparrow make a nest there, or did you get struck by lightning as a child, or were you the result of cross-breading with a chocabo? Be honest! (smiles)

Cloud: …It's naturally like that…cross-breeding with what?

(SWAK!!)

Saph: LIAR!!

Cloud: OWW!! THAT HURT, YOU BAS&#$!!!

(SWAK!!)

Saph: DON'T USE BAD LANGUAGE!!

(SWAK)

Saph: and thank the kind reviewer for their compliment. You should be happy that people consider you a favorite character!! Do you know what people like Reno (XD) or Yuffie would do to become a favorite? (well, Reno more then Yuffie, Yuffie just wants to be favored by Vincent XD)

Cloud: (mumbles) …thank you… and it's natural!! And no I do not use hair gel, how the hell would I get something like that while I'm on delivery? Or fighting the baddies?

Saph: So basically, the translation is: Yes, I do use hair gel, but I lie about it for fear of people saying stuff.

Cloud: (twitches and fingers sword)

Saph: Anyway, more questions from keychain001-san!!

"I have a few more questions for you, Cloud.

What did you feel when Zack died?

How did you and Tifa meet?

Did Zack ever pull any pranks on you?

Have you ever gotten really drunk?"

Saph: Well? Answer!!!

Cloud: I do not care to answer the first and the last.

Saph: Too bad!! You're answering the questions!

Cloud: (twitches and fingers sword)

Saph: Come on!!

Cloud: I was sad. As shown when I screamed at his death.

Saph: Next!

Cloud: Tifa and I knew each other since we were very young. I can't remember.

Saph: Meh, next!!

Cloud: Yeah, that bas%#^ played pranks on me.

Saph: (evil twinkle in eye) such as? Come now!! We need examples!!!

Cloud: … well…he always tried to play with my hair. One time, he switched my shampoo with some other hair product to try and make it lie flat. It did nothing. Then he tried to comb my hair out while I was sleeping, yet again it spiked up when I woke. Then there were others ones, such as when he would steal my uniform and such. And when he would mess with my schedule so I couldn't get to the training on time. Oh! And the dreaded noogies!!!

Saph: Haha!! You gotta love Zack!!

Cloud: (glares)

Saph: And the last! Have you ever gotten really drunk?

Cloud: …no…

Saph: Liar!

Cloud: (glares)

Saph: Meh, NEXT!!! This next one's from The-Living-Shadow. He/she, sorry!, says:

Cloud, why do you like Tifa when she was so horrible to you as a kid? Since she and her friend did bully you until you left for SOLDIER. Does your past with her ever bother you? And do you ever wonder if she only bothers you now because most of the guys moved from your home town and because you saved her life? (twice)

Saph: WOW! The Cloud Strife, the pwn-er of all, the wielder of the huge-a%& buster sword, got picked on as a child? Remind me to call Tifa, she'll save me from your wrath…

Cloud: NOO! NOT TIFA!! I'll be good, I'll be good! Just PLEASE don't call Tifa!!!

(Cloud crawling, begging for mercy)

Saph: (steps away) Yeah? Well then stop with the death threats and answer the nice person's question!!

Cloud: …no comment…

(SWAK!!)

Saph: ANSWER!! Why do you stick with Tifa?

Cloud: …

Saph: Oh! I get it! What Mr. Strife means is that he loves Tifa with all his heart and that's why he sticks with her!!

Cloud: (blushes) I-I didn't say that!!

Saph: Your face says it.

Cloud: …I vowed to protect her when we were kids…

Saph: Nuh-uh! You love Tifa! Say it!!

Cloud: …

Saph: Anyway, next question!!! This one's from SilverWolf1988, awesome name by the way, I love wolves!! Anyway, he/she, sorry, says:

Cloud, why are you such a depressing git?

Cloud: …I-I'm a git?

Saph: Yep. (smiles)

Cloud: I'm depressing…?

Saph: Yep!!

Cloud: (wallowing in his own misery)

Saph: Oh stop it with your self-pity and answer the nice person's question!!

Cloud: Okay, just say that I am depressing, what would that mean? Where would they get that?

Saph: Well, you don't talk much, you seem to always have that Ichigo furrowed brow (for those that don't know, Ichigo is from Bleach) and I don't think I've ever seen you so much as smile. So all in all, you're a depressing person.

Cloud: …w-wah? What? I-I do smile!! (wondering who or what the hell Ichigo is)

Saph: When?

Cloud: …

Saph: See?

Cloud: …

Saph: Meh. NEXT!! This one is from my friend Finalsand!!! Whoot! Anyway, he says:

Cloud-kun. Hajime mashite. Watashi wa Finalsand desu. Just in case no one here knows Japanese I'll ask in English:

How are you able to carry that huge sword around…I mean, dang, your sword is bigger then me!!

And another question: what's your idea on the new character Final Fantasy Versus XI? He might give you a run for your money.

Saph: haha, Finalsand is just like me isn't he? Loves blades and speaks Japanese! Anyway, answer his question Chocabo. Is that sword of yours heavy, or is it hollow?

Cloud: (twitches and makes mental note to kill Saph) It's my sword, how the hell can it be my sword if I can't carry it?!

Saph: Didn't Zack give you that one?

Cloud: …yes…

Saph: So techniqually it isn't yours...

Cloud: ...

Saph: Meh. Answer the other one Chocabo-head.

Cloud: What the heck is 'Final Fantasy Versus XI???'

Saph: (shrugs) Sorry everyone! I don't game!!!

(booing and heavy items thrown at Saph)

Saph: Anyway, next question! This one is from…(opens envelope) YAY!!! It's from my friend, anglekat95-san!! Yay!! Took ya long enough!! Haha, anyway, she says:

I have two questions:

1) When Zack died and you went all emo, did you ever wear heavy eyeliner? (Lol! Racoon-eyed Cloud Strife! HA!)

2) How much do you like Aerith?

Cloud: What's all this about me being a raccoon?!

Saph: She asked if you wore eyeliner and such when you went all emo! *smile* haha, like Gaara from Naruto!!!! LOL!!

Cloud: …no…where the hell would I get eyeliner?!?! And what the F%&* is Naruto?

Saph: (shrugs) and it's an anime by the way...

Cloud: Anyways, no. I never did like the stuff…don't look good in it.

Saph: haha, so you DO care about your appearance!

Cloud: o-of course!!! Why do you think I wear this cool hairstyle!? It takes forever to set up!!

Saph: Aha!! So you DO set it up!!!!

Cloud: …n-no…I-I set it like this when I was a little kid a-and ever since it's stayed like that!!

Saph: Liar. Anyway, I believe there were two questions!!!

Cloud: …I DON'T like Aerith!! She just found me when I fell through the roof…

Saph: You got all emo when she died. And you kept seeing her when you were fighting Kadaj and all of them. So I guess you do like her.

Cloud: *blushes* I-I do not!!

Saph: Oh! I get it!!! You like Aerith, but you LOVE Tifa…haha, Cloud, you playboy!!!

Cloud: *blush*

Saph: Meh! Well, that's all for today!!

Cloud: Finally!!

Saph: (gets mad)

Cloud: Oh! It's on!!

Saph: (shoves Cloud in box) I'm gonna send you to Tifa and make her teach you some manners!!!

Cloud (muffled 'nooooooooo'!!!)

Saph: Anyway, see you all next time!!

* * *

Haha, how was that? I kinda liked it, cross-breeding with chocabos haha. Oh! For all the people that couldn't send in their questions in time, I'm gonna try to bring back Cloud some other time if I get enough late questions. So anyway, please review! Our next guest is…

SWEET!! It's another pwner, Cloud's girlfriend/bride, the beautiful Tifa!!!! So, send in your reviews, and get those questions in!!! If I don't get questions I won't update, and if I don't update then we don't move past this and we won't get to interview some more AWESOME characters.


	3. Authors Note

Sorry, this isn't what you'd call an update. I just wanted to inform you that I'm planning on interviewing more than just the characters from FF VII. My friend got me hooked on FF Versus XIII. For those that don't know, it's a new game on the PS3. The game has not been made yet, but there have been many teaser trailers. I plan on interviewing some of the characters from that. Sorry if this disappoints many of you, sorry that this is not a new update. I am still waiting for some of my friends to send in their questions, they told me to wait for them. I am sorry for all this, please wait patiently. *** bows* **

**-Saph**


End file.
